Apartamentay

"It's this soup paste, you boil water and add it in, and it's instant soup. Really good. Not for shaving, though."

"Oh!" Selia turned red. "Sorry. Did you get the strawberry stuff, though? I really like it."

"What strawberry stuff? That whipping cream? That stuff's disgusting. Is it another one of your diet foods?"

"No! The shaving cream. To shave my legs with."

"T-that was shaving cream?! I couldn't read it- it was in French- but I assumed..."

Selia giggled. "Did you try to eat it, Jake? It's shaving cream. Makes my legs smell like strawberries!"

Jake felt ready to throw up. "Guess we switched stuff up, huh."

"I guess we did.. Maybe I should go shopping next time. You can write down exactly what you need and I won't eat any of it."

"Same here," he said with a sharp nod.

Selia walked off, still laughing about the shaving cream, to put some stuff in the fridge.

April Fools' Day, 2010.
Selia had paid a worker at her bakery overtime for this.
She had been planning this prank for a week and a half, and it was absolutely brilliant. Little Charlotte had just been let in on it, and she was going to be the actress in the situation. Selia was going to be motionless, as she had a horrible tendency to break out laughing, which would never work if she was supposed to be conscious.
Fake blood was EVERYWHERE, on Selia, splattered on Charlotte, and also all over the coworker, who was holding a knife. He had cut open a hole in Selia's shirt with it, around the stomach as to not be perverted, and put some fake wound right there. She was simply to lie on the couch and not move. Charlotte, on the other hand, had a difficult part- As soon as Jake came back from the errand Selia had sent him on, she was instructed run to him screaming, covered in "blood" and a couple "scratches" from the "knife". Selia had been very careful to tell her exactly what to do- she couldn't have sweet Charlotte mess up her plan! But the coworker had the most important job of all. He had to be the murderer. It was absolutely brilliant on the part of Selia and the coworker, and she was so looking forward to Jake's face. She would be able to see it over and over again, since she had bought a muggle video camera JUST for this.

In fact, Jake came through the door. "Honey, I'm home!" he cried out.

Selia tried her hardest not to laugh, but it didn't work. She started giggling, and then she got some fake blood up her nose, and started trying to get it out. It sounded like wheezing. Barry, the random co-worker, stared at Jake oddly. Barry was a gay man, and Selia never told him her husband was so hot.

Jake noticed Selia. "... Selia, why are you covered in tomato juice? And what's that coming out of your stomach? Awww, Selia, you're dripping all over the floor! Please, don't make me clean it up... Hey, Barry."

Barry waved to Jake cheerily. "Hey. What's up?"
Selia sat up, looking disappointed. "This was going to be the best April Fools' Day ever.." She mumbled, pouting and trying to wipe the sopping tomato juice off her. It didn't work. She went over and got a kleenex, blowing some out of her nose.
"How are things lately? Life treating you well?" Barry asked.

Jake ignored Barry. "Oh- Really?! Sorry- I'll be right back." He ran outside and closed the door. Then he reentered, looking majestically at Selia. Then he gasped. "SELIA!" he yelled out, running to his wife's side. "My beautiful love! What happened to you?! Barry, how could you!? You just stabbed my wife!" he yelled. "Oh Selia, look at me. Take that tissue out of your hand, dear. Let's go wash you up. Alone. in the bathroom. Come on!" he swept her into his arms and ran into the bathroom closing the door behind him with his foot. Then it was all silent.

Charlotte picked her nose.

[[Barry the Chopper? I think yes. XD]]

Barry stared at the bathroom, then at Charlotte. "Hi." He said, waving. "This is awkward."

Charlotte blinked a few times. "Candy?" she asked, outstretching her hands. She obviously wanted food.

"Uhh.." Barry went over to Selia's kitchen. "Well, I know how to make cake, cupcakes, crepes.. Oh! How about cereal?"





[Barry the Chopper. I like it. :3]

[[Barry the Chopper is in this roleplay?!]]

[[I suppose. XD]]

Barry, after quite a while, had started to try to teach Charlotte various tricks one would teach a dog using treats. "Roll over!" He crooned, holding the piece of cereal and the box in separate hands.

She looked up at him with a bunch of sass and lifted her hand. "Talk to the hand, mister 'cuz the face ain't listenin'! But if you want, you can go teach my younger sister. But she's in dreamland. Of course, She won't be sleeping for too long after all the noise mama and papa are making in the bathroom this very moment,"

Hey. She was six.

Barry made a face like a cat had just crawled up his butthole, but shut up. He thought he heard a toilet flush, but it might've been his imagination. "So, are you in school?" He asked, sitting down.

"Yes, but I hate it! But I can't wait to start Hogwarts! You know, it's magical there."