Apartamentay

"One small flaw! We're English, and they're not! Well, you're English."

"Oh no you don't! That doesn't even matter. I won. You just can't deal with it."

"Okay okay, but still, this is scary..."

"I know.. Maybe it's just one of those scary coincidences. We shouldn't think anything of it, right? It's actually a pretty interesting cartoon. He's hot."

"That stupid little teenager! I'll give him a piece of my mind... and my hand! Why do we have a television again?"

"Charlotte. Don't you remember, we had an argument about this. If she was a squib, we wanted her to live a normal muggle childhood.."

"I doubt she's a squib. She's got two badass parents right here!" Jake pinched her cheeks. "Remember the battle? We fought side-to-side, back-to-back." He sighed. He felt a lurch in his gut. "Man, I miss the good old days..."

Selia was feeling the same lurch. "Yeah.. And before that, when we were banister sliding every day? Or- or that one time!" She started laughing. "In Hogsmeade, in the rain.. Or that one time where you kicked Antonio's ass. That bastard."

Jake sighed sadly. "Oh, those days were nice. They were damn nice."

"I loved those days. Do you remember when you kissed me at the battle and I was all pissed off cause I thought you wanted to just be friends? God, that pissed me off when we would kiss and you would say that!"

"Yeah... good days." he said laughing. "This show's really cool!"

"We should watch it every week. The guy's blatantly fighting magical evil, and the muggles don't suspect anything.."

"That's badass,"he replies. "Hear that, Charlotte? No, don't. Pretend you didn't."

Charlotte giggled.

"You are way more badass than him. He can't hurt a soul as a human. Charlotte, please close your ears. We're teaching her so many bad things, Jake!"

"She's young, these things will be forgotten."

"ASS!"

Jake froze. "Err."

Selia froze as well. "Maybe we should leave the room when we cuss. To be a better influence. So let's go talk about your.. uh, badness in the other room. Charlotte, stay here."
Selia dragged him off to the bathroom, and shut the door. "WHAT DO WE DO?!"

"Just let it slide. She'll be fine, I'm sure!" Jake said unconvincingly.

"But what if she's not? What if she cusses the whole rest of her childhood? It's our fault.."

"Selia, she won't. We'll be more careful now."

"You're right, you're right." Selia stood up, calming down. She started to leave the bathroom, but she stopped, got up on her tiptoes, and gave Jake a quick kiss before going to tickle Charlotte.

Jake stayed because he really had to go to the bathroom.

Selia was holding Charlotte, pretending to fly her through the air. "Bxzzzzzewerr! Oh no! You blew an engine! BEWFjdfkla!" She (gently) flew Charlotte down onto the couch, bouncing. "Yaaaay!"

One random day, Selia had gotten Jake to go to the grocery store for her. She was helping unload the bags when she spotted something. "Jake..?" She asked, picking it up.
"Why, when I asked you to buy me strawberry scented shaving cream, you bought me soy sauce scented shaving cream? Do you have a soy sauce fetish or something?"

"Oh, honey, that's not soy-sauce shaving cream..." Jake said shaking his head.

"Oh! What is it, then?" She asked. She tried to read the fine print, but it was in Japanese.