The Best Banister Sliding Staircase In All of Hogwarts

Jake happened to be walking on the staircase beneath them, with his hands in his pockets. He was humming Cotton-Eyed Joe. He was so immersed that he didn't even hear the scream. He had even begun a little guitar solo, with his hands brought out in front of him, when Selia fell right into them. "... Damnit!" he thought. But then, he saw Selia in his arms, and blinked. "Wow, did I miss Aparation class or something?"

The screaming Selia, bag and all, crashed right on top of him. Her ink splattered everywhere, and her books all tumbled everywhere. But, her fall had been cushioned, and she sat up, looking surprised to still be conscious.

Jake shook his head. "Seriously. Is it going on right now? Because if it is, I'm screwed. But you're not, Selia! You just apparated! That's amazing!" He began to clap, but in the process of doing so, he dropped her onto the floor.

(It was inevitable. 8|)

"No-- I just fell off the staircase!" Selia said, standing up off the floor and looking down at herself in shock. "I just fell right off! What happened?!"

"Don't ask me. Hey, do you know this song- it's been stuck in my head for a week now:" He began to hum Cotton-Eyed Joe.

"Um, yes, my sister plays that song during her exercise routine-- I just fell off a staircase." Selia said, looking dumbfounded. Meanwhile, her (possible) boyfriend rushed down the stairs. "Holy Crap!" He screamed. "Are you okay? You just fell right off. That is so dangerous!"

Jake stopped smiling. He looked at the guy. "Did you push her?"

"No!" The guy said, looking startled. "Of course not! What is your problem, dude?"

Selia looked embarrassed. "Jake, um, be nice, okay?"

"Oh, cool! You two have fun on your date! If I advise anywhere for some nice kissing, it'd be in that dark hallway straight ahead, and on the right. Oh, please have some action, too. I love some good action." He winked, did a quick salute, and walked off with his hands in his pockets again.

"Is that guy for real?" Malcom asked.
"Uh, yeah. He's my best friend."
"Well, do you want to take his advice, then?"
"Sure!" Selia said, looking extremely pleased with Jake. So they went to the hallway.
Already making out. On the first date.

[WAIT WHAT. /needs to stop skim reading the underclassmen stuff]

Selia ran up and started shooting more spells. "Die, die.." She was mumbling, in a deranged way.

Jake grabbed her hand. "Death isn't always the answer." he whispered. "Because, to most people, the feeling of getting creamed is more annoying."

Selia looked angry for a moment, then nodded. "You're right. I feel sort of guilty, actually. But, they killed Karin." And then, suddenly, black cloaks surrounded them. There were seven Death Eaters, forming a circle. "Um, Jake.."

"... Why are there so many?! You guys are like little sperm thingies! More and more at once! Come on, get a life!" He yelled, and slid on the ground, his arms holding his weight. He slid his foot under two, who fell over, toppling down the staircase, and jumping up, flipping. In the process of this flip, he managed to kick two others in the face- one toppled over the staircase, and the other just stumbled back groaning and clutching his face in his hands. Jake landed on his feet, and smiled at Selia. But that smile immediately faded, as he grabbed Selia, and pulled her to the ground. "DUCK!" he yelled, and nodded. "Start shooting spells at them!"

"Well, you did the ducking for me," Selia muttered, but shot curses as she was told. "Relashio! Crucio!" All these spells end with o.. But, she continued shooting spells anyways, taking out two or three Death Eaters.

"Stupefy!" Jake cried, and a guy shot off into a wall. "JUMP ON!" He yelled, and leaped onto the banister. But, this time, he was surfing on it.

"There's no more charms on these. Isn't that sort of dangerous..." Selia shook her head, with a laugh, and slid down it, sitting.

Then landed at the bottom of the staircase. Jake jumped off, running a bit, and stumbling into a wall, his wand outstretched. "Take THAT! And THAT! WHOO! THIS IS SO FUN!"

"Yeah, it is." Selia said, smiling at him. "Thank you. If I had been there without you, it would be like.. boom boom, dead."

He stopped yelling. "Don't think that. Please. Let's just try to finish this off..."

"Okay. Sure. Stupefy!" Selia screamed, covering Jake's back. "You're right, there are a lot of them."

"Hey, Jake? I think we can take a break now. It really seems to be quieting down.."